Monday, July 30, 2007

"Softball Guy"



Every slow pitch pitch softball league around the country has at least one guy that I would refer to as "Softball Guy". "Softball Guy" is that guy who played baseball in High School 15-30 years ago, and thinks if it weren't for some coach that screwed him over years ago he'd be playing in the big leagues. While most slow pitch softball players show up wearing tennis shoes, shorts and a t-shirt, "Softball Guy" shows up wearing his baseball pants from high school, cleats, wristbands, two batting gloves an official looking uniform or some sort of pullover like the pros wear in batting practice and he's usually carrying a bag with three or four fancy bats. The picture above is a guy that I would refer to as "Softball Guy". While his teammates are probably wearing t-shirts and shorts , this clown has the full get up going. Cleats, socks, pants with the belt, batting gloves, wristband above the elbow and he even threw in the under armor. While I can't tell for sure, I'm assuming that his bat is some fancy $300 bat while everyone else on his team is probably using a $30 bat.

Why do I write about "Softball Guy" ? Tonight, my team faced "Softball Guy". He was probably in his mid to late 30's, he had the pants, pullover, shoes, batting gloves and bat. Before every at bat "Softball Guy" would do some Ichiro like routine, where he would stretch and adjust his jersey several times before he would step into the batters box. Sometimes in between pitches he would do his routine over again. To make things worse "Softball Guy" was also the pitcher and he would try to throw curve balls and change ups and this was coed D-League softball which is the lowest level of Softball in Eugene. Unfortunately we lost to "Softball Guy's" team and as you would expect from "Softball Guy" he was very "humble" in victory.

If any of you out there know "Softball Guy" please have an intervention, it's not too late for them to change. If you're reading this and you are "Softball Guy", please stop! No one is impressed by you, so just give it up.

5 comments:

Jessica said...

LOL! Unbelievable! It's sad that people like "Softball Guy" have no idea that people actually make fun of them . . .

Lance said...

Glory Days!!! They'll Pass you by! Glory Days!!! Like the warmth in a young girls eyes. The only way to deal with softball guys is to drop a drag bunt down the first base line and run them over. It works every time.

wtc said...

This is the kinda guy that get's P*SS*D when some shorts-wearing kid on the team doesn't dive half way over the fence, at the risk of serious personal injury, to catch a homer...

You just can't escape these types.

Scott said...

What about softball umpire who has to enforce every single stupid rule the game has to offer like no re-substitutions? Hey, we sub in everyone on our team so everyone can play. Someone rolls their ankle in the last inning. Too bad, he's gotta stay out there even though he has to work tomorrow and we have healthy guys on our bench who aren't allowed back in.

John said...

great post! so true and so funny