Friday, December 30, 2005

Duck Basketball
Now that the Duck football season is over, it's time to shift my focus to Basketball. The big question entering what should be Ernie Kent's final Pac-10 conference season as the head coach is can the Basketball team match the football team's total of ten wins. I'm going to say no! It's going to be nearly impossible to for this team with this coach to win four more games. I hope that I'm wrong but I rarely am. Tommorrow the Ducks play the OSU Beavers for the right to call themselves the third best team in Oregon, what an honor that would be. Maybe I could even get a T-Shirt that reads something like "3rd in State". It's not all bad for duck hoops though we did get some national media attention this week.
A Final Thought on the Holiday Bowl
By now everyone knows my beloved Ducks lost. Not too long ago I would have been devastated, I would have locked myself in a room for days and avoided all contact with the outside world. I guess I've matured as a sports fan because I woke up this morning with a smile on my face and had allready put last night's events behind me! It's only a game! There is a lot more to life than football.

Go Ducks!!!
2006 Pac 10 Champions

Wednesday, December 28, 2005


One Final Post Before the Holiday Bowl

Since the Holiday Bowl demands my complete focus this will be my final post before the game. All I can say is I wish that I were in San Diego right now, I guess if I got in my car in the next few hours I could easily make it to San Diego by Kickoff but since already sold my tickets I think that I'm going to pass. In conlcusion:

GO DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!! BEAT THE SOONERS
Dennis' Year in Review Part II

Here’s part II of my year in review and in case you missed it here's Part 1

July
The month began with one final email from Andrea (the internet date). It read something like “I’m sorry it’s taken so long to call you or email you but I’ve been really busy, I enjoyed our time together and you’re a really nice guy but I just don’t see our relationship going beyond friendship”, translation: “I was hoping by ignoring you for the last two weeks that you would just go away, I found someone better and just wish that you would go away”. One week later my two fake teeth fell to the bottom of Triangle Lake, it took four days before the dentist could have a new set made. For three days I had to go to work without two of my front teeth. The last significant event in July was “the missed opportunity”. I was sitting in the hot tub at my apartment complex minding my own business when an incredibly beautiful young lady got in. Amazingly, she started to talk to me, after a half an hour of talking about almost everything we went our separate ways. I enjoyed talking to her and I would have loved to have gone out for coffee or something , but there was one small problem I didn’t even get her name.

August
My current roommate Dan got engaged, that makes seven roommates (Anthony, Jon, Dustin, Tim, Albert, Aaron, Dan) who have gotten engaged while living in the same residence as me.

September
Always one of my favorite months of the year. It began with the start of Duck football season , a 38 to 24 win over Houston to start things off. The second weekend of September I returned to Mecca (Autzen Stadium). The Ducks only loss of the season happened in September, I never thought in my wildest dreams that we would go 10-1. I also met someone in September, several weeks later I got the courage to ask her out, there will be no more details though.

October
The Ducks got on a roll in October winning four in a row. A friend of mine volunteered me to help her lead line dancing at a youth group barn party. That was an interesting experience to say the least. October also marked the one year anniversary of my triumphant return to Eugene.

November
At the beginning of November I saw a legend. One of the two living members of the greatest band ever , Sir Paul McCartney. On stage for nearly three hours he performed a total of 36 songs spanning his entire career. He dazzled the crowd with a mix old Beatles favorites such as Blackbird, Hey Jude, Magical Mystery Tour, and Let it Be and songs from his post Beatles career such as Live and Let Die, Band on the Run, Maybe I’m Amazed and the brand new hit Jenny Wren. He even sang one song from his pre Beatles days, In Spite of All the Danger written in 1958 by him and George Harrison when they were a part of a group called The Quarreymen, it also happens to be the first song he ever recorded. At 63 years old he’s got it , I just wonder what he’s going to do when he’s 64?
The Ducks continued the roll that they were on beating Cal and Washington State . On November 18 in the greatest game I’ve seen, the Ducks opened up a can of whoopass on the Beavers 56-14! After the game I stormed the field and danced in the “O” like I was still in college.

December
As expected the Ducks got jobbed by the BCS again, a terrible injustice that inspired me to come up with the DCS. After numerous Christmas parties the big day came and went. A great day with family and a time to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. Christmas day also marked a major accomplishment for me, I ran twelve miles in 1 hour 28 minutes. If you do the math that’s under a 7 and a half minute mile. I never thought I could run twelve miles that fast.

Well that’s it for 2005, all in all not a bad year. I wish all my readers a happy new year. As for the pledge I made on January 10 2005, as of December 27 I weigh 220 pounds. Mission accomplished as long I don’t pack on another six pounds in the next two weeks.

Goals for 2006
1. Lose another 20 pounds
2. Run a marathon
3. Find a wife

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

DUCK BASKETBALL



WHEN I POST ENTIRELY IN CAPS YOU KNOW I'M FIRED UP. AS I WAS WATCHING YET ANOTHER WORTHLESS BOWL GAME, I SAW A VERY DISTURBING COLLEGE BASKETBALL SCORE FLASH ACROSS THE BOTTOM OF MY TV PORTLAND STATE 54 OREGON 52 FINAL! I KNOW THE DUCK BASKETBALL HAS BEEN BAD THIS YEAR BUT TO LOSE AT HOME TO PORTLAND STATE! THIS COMES JUST DAYS AFTER LOSING TO THOSE POWERFUL UNIVERSITY OF PORTLAND PILOTS! I AM OFFICIALLY DONE DEFENDING COACH ERNIE KENT! WITH THREE MCDONALDS HIGH SCHOOL ALL AMERICANS ON YOUR ROSTER YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS LOSING TO TEAMS LIKE PORTLAND AND PORTLAND STATE! TO GO 6-6 IN NON CONFERENCE PLAY WITH SCHEDULE AS SOFT AS THEY HAD IS UNACCEPTABLE. WHEN THE SCHOOL IS TRYING TO RAISE $150,000,000+ TO BUILD A NEW ARENA, AND 52 POINTS AT HOME AGAINST A TEAM FROM THE BIG SKY CONFERENCE IS THE BEST THEY CAN DO, SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE FAST! IF I WERE PHIL KNIGHT I WOULD BE RETHINKING MY SUPPORT, WHY SHOULD ANYONE CONTRIBUTE ANY MONEY FOR THIS CRAPPY PRODUCT! OREGON CAN DO BETTER! I HATE TO SAY IT BUT IF THEY LOSE SATURDAY AT HOME TO THE BEAVERS, ERNIE NEEDS TO BE SHOWN THE DOOR! AND PLEASE ERNIE, DON'T LET IT HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!

Monday, December 26, 2005

My Dream Job
Towards the end of tonight's Monday night football game, 43 year old Doug Flutie entered the game for the New England Patriots and attempted one pass, moments later 42 year old Vinny Testaverde enter the game for the New Yorks Jets. Moments after Testaverde attempted his first pass, announcer Al Michaels stated that this was the first time in NFL history that two players over 40 have attempted a pass. That got me thinking, how can I get a job being that guy that sits in the production truck looking up useless facts for the announcers to say on TV? That may have surpassed being that guy who holds up that giant salad bowl looking mike on the sidelines as my dream job.
DCS National Championship Tournament Semifinal Results
The semifinals of my college football tournament are in the books. Here are the recaps of two great football games. If you missed them here are the first round and the quarterfinals

Oregon vs. USC
The Ducks had revenge on their minds heading into this game. In September the Trojans handed the Ducks their only defeat of the season 45-13 in Eugene. Today's game was a spectacular back and forth affair highlighted by the outstanding play of the two quarterbacks, Oregon's Dennis Dixon and Matt Leinhart of USC. Dixon had a career day completing 29 of 39 passes for 426 yards and four touchdowns. Leinhart finished 23 of 34 for 319 and three touchdowns. Going into the fourth quarter the Ducks held a 31-28 lead, however a 76 yard drive capped by a Reggie Bush touchdown gave USC a 35-31 lead with nine minutes left to play. Oregon responded with a 68 yard drive capped by an eight yard pass from Dixon to James Finley with 5:30 left in the game. Reggie Bush returned the ensuing kickoff the USC 45 yard line. USC relied on it's ground and the tired Oregon defense could not stop USC. With 2:30 left in the game Lendale White scored the go ahead touchdown. The Ducks mishandled the ensuing kickoff and were forced to start at their own 5 yard line. Dixon played with the poise of a fifth year senior driving them all the way to the one yard line with three seconds left. Trailing 42-38 they needed a touchdown, Dixon kept the ball and went off the left tackle and was stood up at about the two inch line, freshman running back Jonathan Stewart tried his very best to push Dixon across the goal line but it wasn't enough. Final score USC 42 Oregon 38.

Penn State vs. Georgia
While the first game was highlighted by two high octane offenses, defense was the story of this game. With three minutes left and Penn State clinging to a 14-10 lead Georgia began their last drive from their own 27. Georgia took the ball all the way to the Penn State nine yard line. On third and goal with thirty second left Georgia Quarterback DJ Shockley threw towards the corner of the end zone only to be picked off by Penn State senior corner Adam Zamaitis. Final Score Penn State 14 Georgia 10.


The Championship game is set. Stay tuned for the first ever DCS National Championship game sponsored by whatever type of beer I have in my fridge, to be played January 2, 2006 in my living room on my X-Box.
Dennis' Year in Review Part I
As 2005 comes to an end, I’ve decided to take a moment and reflect on the last 12 months of my life. So for anyone who cares here's part I of a two part month by month recap of my life in 2005.

January
2005 began in a cabin near MT Hood with some of my closest friends. After a night of celebrating the new year it was off to the slopes of Timberline for New Years Day. Not a great day for me because I was a bit under the weather that day, those of you who were there know why. After a day of skiing all I wanted to do was get back to the cabin and relax, due to an ice storm it took something like four hours to go 15 miles. On January 10, I celebrated my 28th birthday. That night I hopped on a scale at the gym and it read 310 pounds. I made a pledge that night that by January 10, 2006 I would be no more than 225 pounds. I’ll let you all know at the end of part II whether I’m there yet.

February
Nothing exciting in February but I did extend my streak. The streak of not dating anyone on Valentines Day. It’s up to 28 now, will 2006 be the year it all comes to an end? Only time will tell.

March
Once again another March Madness without my beloved Oregon Ducks, I have feeling 2006 will be the same. I also made my tenth trip to Mexico with the First Baptist Church high school group. It’s was great to see the work that God is doing in the Mexicali Valley. I’m already confirmed for trip number eleven in 2006.

April
One the most humiliating moments of my life took place in April. I had to wear a Pig suit and hand cookies out in the lobby of my work. I survived two hours in it and I am a better man because of it.

May
I jumped back into the world of internet dating, I began communicating with Andrea. You’ll find out in June how that worked out. May was also the month that my friend and former roommate Aaron Geist got married. I had a few too many glasses of wine at the reception and by the end of the night I was out on the dance floor. Now me and The Duck are the only former residents of the Chesterfield address that are still single.

June
I finally met Andrea and after two dates she kicked me to the curb. Pretty much the story of my dating life. Two dates and done! June is also the month that I started running and I haven’t stopped yet.

Well that’s the first half of my year, please stay tuned for the second half.

Friday, December 23, 2005

DCS National Championship Tournament Quarterfinals
Round two has been played in my tournament to crown the real Champion of College Football. As I explained in my very first post, I hate the bowl system so I dececided to create a tournament. This tournament is my vision of what the College football postseason should be! Here are the Quarterfinal results and here's round one if you missed it.

(1)USC 45 (9)Miami 17
-Miami busted out to an early 10-0 and then Reggie Bush went off. He finished the day with 3 rushing touchdowns, 1 reception for a touchdown and an amazing 72 yard punt return for a touchdown. Matt Leinhart hit Steve Smith in the corner of the endzone for the other USC score. The Trojans are rolling!

(5)Oregon 42 (4)Ohio State 41
-In one of the greatest games ever played, the Ducks came from 13 down in the final five minutes to pull off an improbable victory. Dennis Dixon connected on a 13 yard touchdown pass to Tim Day with no time remaining to tie it at 41. Paul Martinez's extra point hit the upright and bounced in! Ducks win! Ducks win !

(3)Penn Sate 24 (11) Florida State 21
-In another outstanding game, Penn State quarterback Michael Robinson led the Nittnay Lions on a seven play 63 yard drive capped off by a game winning field goal with 27 seconds left.

(7)Georgia 31 (2)Texas 17
-In a stunning upset the Georgia Bulldogs rolled the Texas Longhorns. Longhorn Quarterback Vince young struggled against the Georgia defense being picked off three times!

There you have it, check back Monday for the semifinal results. Can the Ducks stun the Trojans? Will Joe Paterno lead Penn State past Georgia and into the championship game?

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

DCS National Championship Tournament First Round Results
Before I get into the first round results of my college football tournament, I have a story from life. In 28 years I've never won a contest on the radio. That all ended today! The local sports radio station was giving away two tickets to the Holiday Bowl. All you had to do was be the fourth caller and tell them the score of last year's Holiday Bowl. Being the great multitasker that I am, I was able to lookup the score on the internet while dialing the number. After a busy signal twice the phone rang and I heard this "1320 the score, caller number 4" I was totally shocked but I was able to compsoe myself long enough to say Texas Tech 45 Cal 31. I actually won! Not that it really matters because I still probably can't go to the game. It's not like I won an all expenses paid trip, I just won two tickets I'd still have to get there and airfair this close to game day is not cheap and not sure that I wan't to take three days off from work to drive down there, go to the game the next day and drive back on the third day. So I'll probably just try make a couple bucks and sell the tickets. Anyways back to my tournament, here's the first round results.

(1) USC 77 (16)Arkansas State 3
(9) Miami 31 (8) Auburn 28 OT

(4) Ohio State 27 (13) Boise State 13
(5) Oregon 42 (12) TCU 28

(11)Forida State 31 (6) Notre Dame 21
(3) Penn State 35 (14) Tulsa 17

(7) Georgia 28 (10) West Virginia 10
(2) Texas 52 (15) Akron 10

That sets up some compelling second round matchups
(1) USC vs (9)Miami
(4) Ohio State vs (5) Oregon

(11) Florida State vs (3) Penn State
(2) Texas vs (7) Georgia

Stay tuned for the second round results
Life as a Bill Collector
Rude, arrogant, abrasive, abusive, insensitive, condescending. Those are just a few of the many words used to describe me in the past year. You are probably starting to think that I must be a total jerk. That's life as a bill collector, we might be the only people despised more than telemarketers. Rarely in my career as a Bill Collector has anyone been happy to talk to me, no matter how nice I am to somebody I'm still a collector which means I'm all of the things listed above. On a daily basis I hear all sorts of excuses on why people can't pay there bills. Some of the better ones I've heard over the years are as follows "If I make my visa payment, I won't have any money for cigarettes", "I just got back from Hawaii so I won't have any money for a while" and I really did have someone say to me "My Dog ate my payment". Perhaps the best of them all was the lady who told me her husband just passed away. Just as I was about to feel sorry for her I noticed a note on here account from exactly a year earlier, it read as follows "Cardholder said husband just passed away". Still trying to be sensitive about the situation, I very politely asked her about what she told us a year earlier, she promptly hungup all but confirming my suspicion that she made the whole story up. I also get to have people cars repossessed which just adds to the excitement of the job. There's nothing as exciting as the phone call I get from an angry person who just walked outside to go to work only to discover that we have taken their car. You can probably imagine that they're not very happy and usually they use some very colorful language. Even though they haven't paid in three months and they have ignored all the letters and the daily messages from me on their answering machine, it's still my fault not theirs. So what's the point of all this? If you ever mess up and don't pay a bill, please be nice to the collector, they're just doing their job. Bill Collectors have feelings too!
The Box of Chocolates
Just a quick random thought because I really should be working right now. We have a box of chocolates in our break room here at work. I love chocolate however box chocolates drive me crazy because you never know what you're eating. I grabbed a piece of chocolate thinking it was carmel filled. When I took a bite out of it, I was stunned to discover it was filled with some creamy strawberry flavored substance. It was awful! Therefore unless I know for certain what's in it, I will no longer be eating random pieces of chocolate.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Why Rudy Isn't Listed as one of my Favorite Movies
I wasn't planning on posting another entry today, but I've had several questions on why Rudy isn't listed as one of my favorite movies on my profile. So before I head to yet another Christmas party I will address this issue. Rudy has always been a personal favorite of mine, an inspirational story of a young man who against all odds realized his lifelong dream of playing football for Notre Dame. My problem isn't the movie itself as much as it is Notre Dame. This national sports media love affair with Notre Dame is ridiculous! ESPN and other media outlets would like you believe that Notre Dame is the greatest college football team in the country. I have never in my life seen so much obsession over a two loss team. I get sick tired of hearing that they should have beat USC, that USC cheated to win the game. I've got one word for all Notre Dame people, scoreboard! They did not beat USC! There are no moral victories in sports, you either win or lose (unless it's soccer, then you can tie, but that's a whole other entry). USC went on the road into a hostile environment and won! As far as the Bush Push as it called, who cares? In practically every football game that I've ever watched, I've seen a player give a teammate a little shove to get a touchdown or first down and not once have I seen a team penalized for doing it! In fact if you watched Notre Dame's comeback victory over Stanford you might have noticed that there was a little push on Notre Dame's go ahead touchdown. Then there is the issue of their loss to Michigan State. This is a fact that has been almost completely ignored by Notre Dame homers. Bottom line is they lost to a five win team at home and there is no excuse for that. I personally will take one blowout loss to the nation's best team over two close losses anyday (10-1 > 9-2). Now to Charlie Weis, he's a good coach and a good guy but he's not the second coming of Knute Rockne as people would like you to believe. Let's wait a few years before we annoint him the greatest coach of all time. Notre Dame likes to talk about their rich tradition, but who really cares about what they did fifty years ago? The last time they won a bowl game was January 1, 1994, only one year into the Clinton presidency. So because of all this I've decided to boycott Notre Dame and since Rudy is about a Notre Dame football player it can no longer be considered one of my favorite movies!
Monday Night Fotball and Anything Else on my Mind
I stayed true to my word last night and did not watch Monday Night Football. I tried to turn to ABC once to check the score and for some reason the channel wouldn't come in, which I think is weird because I have cable! I pay $50 a month for it and stinking ABC would not even come in! After checking the score on ESPN.com, I was pefectly content watching the World Series of Poker. I don't even know what the final score was and I really don't care. I do know this, It's time for Brett Favre to retire! He's one of the best ever to play quarterback but his time is up!

On a totally unrelated note, a few months ago I purchased an Ipod Nano. It has been good to me. Typically after I go for my run, I set it on my bookshelf. Saturday was a different story, after finishing my twelve mile run, my Ipod somehow ended up in my laundry pile! I did not realize it until I was moving my clothes from the washer to the dryer. Sitting in the washer with my wet clothes was my black Ipod Nano. I was almost in tears, I had just made a $200 mistake. I tried turning it on once and it was dead, at this point I was just angry. How could I the worlds smartest man be so stupid and put my Ipod through the wash? After letting it dry out overnight, I attempted to turn it on Sunday afternoon. Amazingly, it worked! Two days later it still works and my Ipod is nice and clean.

Monday, December 19, 2005

My Bowl Predictions

Even though I despise the Bowl system here are my predictions for every single bowl game. Since I know absolutely nothing about many of these teams do not rely on these predictions for gambling purposes.

Lafayette (New Orleans) Bowl- Southern Miss 42 Arkansas State 12
GMAC- Utep 24 Toledo 14
Las Vegas- Cal 35 BYU 10
Poinsettia- Navy 10 Colorado State 3 (This will be the worst Bowl game!!)
Fort Worth- Kansas 24 Houston 21
Hawaii- Nevada 27 Central Florida 20
Motor City- Akron 42 Memphis 21
Champs Sports- Clemson 49 Colorado 10
Insight- Arizona State 52 Rugters 10
MPC Computers- Boise State 44 Boston College 35
Alamo- Michigan 45 Nebraska 12
Emerald - Georgia Tech 24 Utah 21
Holiday- Oregon 45 Oklahoma 13 (This is not a homer pick, this is my honest assessment)
Music City- Minnesota 33 Virginia 20
Sun- UCLA 49 Northwestern 10
Independence- South Carolina 24 Missouri 20
Peach- LSU 20 Miami 13
Meineke Car Care- NC State 27 South Florida 10
Liberty- Fresno State 35 Tulsa 28
Houston- TCU 28 Iowas State 10
Cotton- Texas Tech 28 Alabama 20
Outback- Florida 24 Iowa 20
Gator- Virginia Tech 24 Louisville 21
Capital One- Auburn 35 Wisconsin 31
Fiesta- The Ohio State 45 Notre Lame 13
Sugar- Georgia 45 West Virginia 20
Orange- Penn State 28 Florida State 17
Rose- USC 52 Texas 28

There you have it every single bowl game!
Ten Things I'd rather watch than tonight's football game

10. The infomercial with the midgets that made millions selling real estate.
9. Saved by the Bell Reruns
8. Competetive Eating
7. Highlights from todays congressional proceedings on CSpan.
6. OSU womens Basketball
5. That Brady Bunch Christmas special from the late 80's that seems to be on every year.
4. Any reality TV show.
3. A Blazer game.
2. Soap Operas on Univision (The spanish channel)
1. One of the million poker shows that seem to be on TV.

The Ultimate Solution For College Football

Bowl season is almost upon us, soon the airwaves will be filled with such tradtion filled bowl games as the Emerald Bowl, Lafayette (err New Orleans) Bowl, MPC Computers Bowl, Meineke Car Care Bowl, Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl, Ford Motor City Bowl, EV1.net Houston Bowl and my favorite one of all the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. No disrespect to the teams participating in these games, but come on do we really need all these bowl games? Absolutely not! College football is the greatest sport there is but it has the worst postseason. There's one solution, a sixteen team tournament! So after hours of research I have put together the first ever DCS (Dennis Championship Series) National Championship Tournament. Bids were awarded to the eleven conference champions and five at large teams were selected using a highly scientific formula. Here are the first round matchups:

1 USC (Pac 10) vs 16 Arkansas State (Sun Belt)

8 Auburn (At Large) vs 9 Miami (At Large)

4 The Ohio State (at Large) vs 13 Boise State (WAC)

5 Oregon (At Large) vs 12 Texas Christian (Mountain West)


6 Notre Dame (At Large) vs 11 Florida State (ACC)

3 Penn State (Big 11) vs 14 Tulsa (CUSA)

7 Georgia (SEC) vs 10 West Virginia (Little east)

2 Texas (Big 1 plus little 11) vs 15 Akron (Mac)

Click Below for the results

First round results
Quarterfinal results
Semifinal results
Championship results